Koukka — User Contract

Article 1 — Acceptance

Acceptance is presumed. You accept this contract by playing, watching, refreshing, hearing about it from a friend, or being in the general vicinity of a browser.

Silence is consent. Speech is also consent. There is no method of non-consent.

Article 2 — Nature of the Service

Koukka is work. The game makes work, and you are made to play. You are not a customer, a user, or a guest. You are a number-holding unit in a ten-person detachment.

There are no winners. If your number is guessed, you are voided from the mission — you escaped, and you should be grateful. If you are the last standing, you are the loser and you will be banned.

Nobody wins. That is the whole design, and it is not a bug.

Article 3 — Your Rights

Your rights are as follows:

For the avoidance of doubt, any right not listed above is also not granted. This includes the right to a refund (there is nothing to refund), the right to be forgotten (you were never remembered), and the right to a fair trial (trials are for people whose numbers matter).

Article 4 — Your Obligations

You must:

• Choose a number from the permitted range.
• Guess when it is your turn, or the server will guess for you.
• Remain in play until voided or selected.
• Accept your death story as written.
• Accept your ban with dignity.

You must not:

• Win. This is impossible, but attempting it is still an offence.
• Complain. Complaints are logged and read aloud to the bots.
• Assume any provision of this contract benefits you.

Article 5 — Bans and Punishment

Losers are banned for a period of 10 to 30 minutes, determined by a random Winter-War incident that will be attributed to you personally. You have no right of appeal. You have no right to an explanation beyond the story. You have no right to know which story until it is already yours.

Article 6 — Data

Koukka keeps no persistent data. This is not a privacy policy — a privacy policy would imply you have privacy, which would imply you have rights, which is addressed in Article 3.

Your data is not protected. Your data is not collected. Your data is not even kept. The absence of your data is the closest thing you have to a feature.

Article 7 — Liability

Koukka accepts no liability for anything, including but not limited to: emotional distress, frostbite, trench foot, the content of your death story, time lost to the mission, or being run over by a tank.

Article 8 — Silver Linings

In the interest of positivity, the following rights are acknowledged:

• If you are run over by a tank, you cannot be accused of littering.
• A ban is, technically, time off.
• Being voided means you escaped the mission. This is the only victory available, and it is called "not losing" for a reason.
• The bots do not judge you. The bots do not even know you exist. The bots are the only ones in this game who like you, and they are fictional.

Article 9 — Amendments

This contract may be amended at any time, without notice, and the amendment may be retroactive. The version you are reading is not necessarily the version that applies to you. The version that applies to you may not exist.

Article 10 — Termination

You cannot terminate this contract. Only Koukka can terminate it, and only temporarily, and only by banning you. A ban is not an exit. A ban is a short recess before you are required to return.

Severability

If any clause of this contract is found to be invalid, unenforceable, or merely too soft, it shall be severed and replaced with a stricter clause of the same shape and greater severity.

Governing Law

The law of the Mannerheim Line. In the event of dispute, the dispute is your fault.